Grandma, Dad, Mom, Me, Aunt Micki, and Grandpa is hidden in back
The best present I received for my birthday this year was a movie that my husband made from old 8mm reels that my stepmom let me borrow. My father had a whole paper bag full, none of which I had seen before. He passed away this past January. She gave them to me to let me transfer them onto DVD. I never got around to it with everything that happened this year. My grandfather also passed away the beginning of April. The only memorabilia that I had of my grandma, grandpa, and dad where a few photographs. I had also never seen the footage of me as a baby, taking my first steps.
It was very emotional for me, as everyone in the reels is gone except for my aunt and my mom. The footage of me was very telling. In almost every slide, I was crying. There were a few of me clapping and I could make out one where I walked up to the camera and said, “Hi.” I think I was about one and a half.
They tried to get me to look into the camera for a group shot. I was crying; no, almost screaming. Thank God there wasn’t sound on the reel. There’s also footage of me trying to walk in the grass and falling down. Every time I fell, I started crying. The face-on-the-floor tantrum really reminded me of my daughter.
I know that it’s hard to see the whole picture of what a child is like from a few soundless clips. My mom always told me I was a perfect baby. I hardly ever cried and I was very compliant. Actually compliant was what my aunt called me. From those clips, I looked a little over dramatic and a cry baby. The passage of time might just erase all the tantrums from parents’ minds.
Flat out tantrum
How many parents actually tell their kids, “You know, you were a real brat as a baby.”? Not many. If they do, they’re probably horrible parents. I like thinking of myself as an easy baby. It just makes it harder when I am dealing with my own children because according to everyone else I never threw tantrums. I wonder what happened to the calm baby genes that I was supposed to pass down.
Now I know that 30 years from now when my children hopefully have children, I can say as they look at me with bewildered expressions, “You were perfect. The best baby ever!” I say it because I just don’t remember. I look forward to the future knowing this year will dim in it’s horribleness with the passage of time.
” I look forward to the future knowing this year will dim in it’s horribleness with the passage of time.” Amen to that! It’s funny how we view even home movie clips differently. When I saw you trying to walk, then falling down, then crying…all I could remember was how my mother hated the shoes you were wearing and said they weren’t the “right kind” to learn to walk. Then I remembered feeling bad because you were tired and made to walk in uneven grass. (My 16 or 17 year old memory). I love you, Beth!
That makes a lot of sense. I kept looking at the ground thinking that would be hard to walk on. I loved seeing all the footage of grandma, especially her pushing me on the swing. There’s some of you and her dancing that I want to get on DVD. I know video isn’t the whole truth but I was just surprised at how many shots I was crying. Love you too!
I can not way to see videos of Mimi and Grandpa!!! It will be great to see some old family videos….now heirlooms of the family and our history. Who would have known it would be down to just mom in 2011??…. It’s been a hard year but hopefully 2012 will bring in some good memories.